


Where the Sun Meets the Waves

by Artikaa



Category: Tales of Berseria
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Happy Ending, Major character death - Freeform, Plot Spoilers, Romance, spoiler heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artikaa/pseuds/Artikaa
Summary: When the truth of the Abbey unravels, Eleanor becomes lost. All her beliefs about the world have shifted, and she is confronted with one final question: After all this time of killing demons, could she bring herself to love one?





	Where the Sun Meets the Waves

Eleanor knelt against the cool earth and took the petal of a flower between her fingers, the delicate texture pressing against her skin. She rubbed her thumb over it, careful not to rip it from its base, and lifted her head. The blanket of flowers spread around her for as far as she could see, and her heartbeat sped as her eyes scanned the horizon. It was like it was expanding endlessly outward, covering the world in nothing but a pale white sky and the river of pink flowers beneath it.

The fingers still holding the petal were overcome with warmth. Slowly, almost in fear of laying her eyes upon her own hand, Eleanor turned her gaze to the ground. Her fingers, where they had rubbed at the petals, were coming away covered with blood. She jerked her hand back, cradling it to her chest though it was painless, and stood. Her knees and boots where they had touched the ground were slick with blood, and when she looked down again all the pink flowers had turned a deep shade of red. The steady drip of blood flowing slowly off the tips of flower petals echoed in every direction. Hesitantly, she reached for her spear, but her hand flowed through empty air. Eleanor’s heart raced furiously in her chest, its beat pounding in her ears.

“Traitor.” She spun, still grasping for a weapon that wasn’t there, and her breathing hitched.

“Oscar,” she said. Her voice was weak and the air was impossibly thick—she could hardly hear herself.

He was close—impossibly close. “Traitor,” he repeated. His gaze had never been so critical. “Why did you betray us, Eleanor? Why are you fighting alongside demons?”

“Did they not kill your mother?” Teresa’s breath was hot on the back of her neck. They circled her, slowly, as Eleanor began to shake. Her heart pounded still in her ears: _Traitor. Traitor. Traitor._

“I—I never meant—“

“But you did,” Oscar said, unsheathing his own sword from his belt. “I’m sorry, Eleanor. I truly did think of you as a friend.”

Tears welled in Eleanor’s eyes. The image of Oscar before her wavered in the collected water, and her tears poured silently forward as she tried to blink them away. Teresa readied her weapon. They stood before her, each the perfect mirror of the other, and condemned her to die. Eleanor fell to her knees, arms limp at her sides. Her legs slid in the slick field she had resigned to die in.

She wasn’t strong enough to fight them again. She couldn’t bring herself to lift another finger against her friends.

Eleanor kept her eyes wide open. She watched Oscar and Teresa reel back their weapons, expressionless, and then they were gone. She hadn’t so much as blinked, but the siblings had disappeared completely.

The hair on the back of her neck slowly crawled upward as she became aware of sounds behind her. They had just started—or perhaps they had always been there, and she had not noticed.

Slowly, carefully, she turned. Velvet was knelt over not ten feet behind her, her back towards Eleanor. Eleanor slowly stood from the ground, her legs shaking, and stepped towards her.

“Velvet?”

Velvet whipped her head around, a snarl ripping through her lips as she laid her eyes upon Eleanor. Velvet had the eyes of a wild animal, and Eleanor’s eyes focused on the blood smeared across Velvet’s mouth, coating her cheeks and chin in a slick crimson that shone in the white light of the field. Beneath her were the two exorcists. Oscars head lay facing Eleanor, no longer attached to the rest of his body, and his critical, lifeless eyes judged her from where they lay.

Without so much as a breath, Velvet’s hand was around Eleanor’s throat, digging her claws deeper and deeper into the tender skin of her neck. She felt the skin break. She felt the claws pushing past her muscles, forcing their way in. She felt her life draining, pouring into those pulsing fingers buried in her neck. Velvet’s claw throbbed with fresh blood. Eleanor cried out in pain.

* * *

 

Her eyes shot open. She was in a cold sweat, and her heart showed no signs of slowing any time soon. Her fingers flitted up to her neck, checking the ghosts of pain, but even that was soon trickling away.

Magilou and Velvet were still fast asleep in their own bunks. Eleanor watched as the room swayed slowly in a way she once felt she would never get used to. The Van Eltia had been at sail for nearly a full day, but the ghosts of those they had killed would haunt her forever. Eleanor glanced at Velvet, who was sleeping on her side with her back to the room. Eleanor swallowed gently, remembering Oscar’s lifeless eyes. This was the path she chose.

Quietly, Eleanor slipped out of her bunk and dressed herself. She wouldn’t be able to sleep after that.

The sun was just beginning to rise and there was hardly anyone awake on the ship. Benwick stood at the hull and they nodded to each other when she passed, but they said nothing more. The sun cusped the world in the distance, and the silence with which it entered the day was something sacred. The sky became painted, and the reflected light at the curve of the ocean’s horizon lit up like stars in the water.

“Lean any further over that rail and you’ll fall in.”

Rokurou was leaning against the wall behind her, smirking at the sun, and Eleanor turned her gaze back to the sea. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

He placed his chin in his hands and closed his demon eye, seeming to concentrate on the distance. “I suppose you could see it that way. Though it just looks like a sunrise to me.”

Eleanor’s gaze dropped to the banister below her hand. The wood had been smoothed from the ship’s men constantly running their hands over the railings. On some level, the flowers she had caressed in her dream felt more real. The banister was solid beneath her grip, and she clenched it for some anchor to this reality. Her fingers sought the truth eagerly, threatening splinters.

Rokurou pushed off the wall and stood next to her, putting his elbows on the railing next to her hand. He was staring at her. Eleanor could feel his gaze, even see him out of the corner of her eye, but she didn’t want to meet his gaze. He stared at her for what felt like a long time as the sun slowly began to lift further in the sky. It cast its rays over their faces, and Eleanor squinted against the light.

Finally, Rokurou turned his eyes back to the ocean. “So,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

Eleanor felt the blood rushing to her cheeks. He always caught her in these moods, and she found herself wishing that he wouldn’t ask. The grief inside of her felt like a private affair. “Nothing,” she said. “I’m fine.”

Rokurou chuckled. “Yeah, like I’ll believe that one.” They stared out at the ocean together in silence, letting the salty wind pick up tendrils of their hair to wrap them around their faces. Rokurou broke the silence first, as they both knew he would. “Look, I’m not going to stand here and pretend I know what you’re going through right now. I know that the things we’ve done these past few days are probably weighing on you.”

“I suppose that’s one way of putting it.” Eleanor turned her face away from him entirely, pretending to watch a gull which had landed on the other end of the ship. She didn’t want to talk about it. She had already accepted what had happened, and though her heart ached for what could have been, she wanted to move on. “I’m fine, really, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m not asking you to be honest with me, Eleanor. I know it’s not my business.”

“It’s not.”

“I know.”

Somehow, they had ended up here again. Rokurou was the first person to ask her how she was coping with the path she chose, and she had chased him off then, too. She sighed, and though she hadn’t looked at Rokurou the whole time they’d been leaning against the railings, she could feel him watching her again. He knew she wouldn’t turn to look at him, but he watched her anyway.

“You know, you don’t have to stare at me like that. I’m not going to jump or anything.”

Rokurou tore his eyes from her at her request, watching instead the gull that had landed as it swooped towards the waves to secure its breakfast. “If you did, I would catch you.”

Eleanor stole a glance his way. He must have been training before coming over to her. His jacket was discarded further down the boat, and though his neck and arms were glistening in the morning sun with beads of sweat, his shirt was dry. He must have put it on before heading towards her. Eleanor’s cheeks pinkened rapidly, and she looked away to clear the thoughts from her head. “That would be a selfish thing to do.”

“I don’t care.” He placed his hand on her shoulder, and at the sudden contact Eleanor felt a surge of emotion course through her. Pain for her dead friends, longing for a life she refused, fear for what lay ahead of them. She spun, meeting his eye.

“Don’t touch me,” she whispered. The wind had blown the hair from Rokurou’s face, revealing the markings that branded him as a demon. She had seen it plenty of times before, but each time it brought new chills to her frame. The deep red of his eye and the violent, slash-like markings brought her dream back to her; Velvet’s violent eyes, the claws in her neck, and the life force being sucked from her own body.

Rokurou’s brows knitted in concern, his lips taking their familiar hard line as he attempted to decipher her expression. She slapped his arm away. “Don’t touch me!” she said again, louder though not quite a shout. Not loud enough for anyone to hear but themselves. Recoiling from his touch, she squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to see it. It was the last thing she and Teresea had in common, this hatred for demons.

She wouldn’t forget it again. He was a demon, too.

And she was the crybaby exorcist. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she retreated into the ship’s interior. She left Rokurou with his arm outstretched, his eyes wide. He looked so human, and she couldn’t bear to stand beside him any longer.

She found the storeroom empty and lowered herself into a corner. She pressed her cheeks into her knees and let her tears wet them. They flowed easily, and Eleanor bit her lower lip to stop from sobbing. It was just too much. The more she thought about Rokurou, abandoned on the deck, the harder she cried. A small voice in the back of her mind asked her why she pushed him away, but she knew why. It was because he was a demon, and she was supposed to hate them. She did hate them.

Which is why she didn’t dare ask herself how things would be if he were human.

* * *

 

They all knew Titania was a trap going in, but Eleanor clutched her spear all the same. She followed Velvet through the prison the same as always, but the tension hanging over the island was unlike anything she’d followed her through before. It was full of exorcists—of voices she knew, of people she had once fought beside. She sent her spear through another exorcist and was grateful for the helmets they all wore. It helped her separate her emotions from the task at hand. However, some voices were familiar. The exorcist Eleanor had just run through died with her name on their lips, but she pushed the act from her mind before the girl could even hit the ground. There wasn’t time now to mourn. To achieve her selfish desire, to know the truth, she had to do this.

Beside her, Rokurou cut down yet another enemy. She had been avoiding looking in his direction since their encounter on the Van Eltia, but for the sake of her guilty heart she decided to steal a glance his way. He was grinning while striking at his foes. The war demon in him was fully revealed while they fought, and it made Eleanor struggle for breath. He could be truly terrifying.

He looked up, feeling her eyes on him, and she looked away immediately.

Kamoana and the other therions followed them into the hall after the room was cleared, and Prince Percival came to follow behind Eleanor. It was instinct for the both of them—for him to follow behind an exorcist, and for her to protect royalty. As they turned the corner to head towards the docks, a demon lept out at them. Reflexively, Eleanor stepped in front of the Prince.

“Your Highness, get back!”

She didn’t have time to lift her spear. The second she pushed Percival out of the way was the only second she had to spare. Wide eyed, lifting her spear in what she knew wouldn’t be enough time to block, she regretted it.

The demon’s head hit the floor beside her. The body was so close that blood splattered on the shoulder of her jacket, and she stood, stunned. The headless body fell forward and she stepped back, letting it land at her feet. Rokurou stepped over it with little regard, his eyes narrowed at the demon’s body as though he could spit at it.

His eyes darted to the blood on her shoulder and his expression softened immediately. “Eleanor, are you alright?” He said, raising his hand as though to inspect her shoulder but stopping in the air between them. He pulled it back quickly. Her own words echoed in the air between them. _Don’t touch me._

“It’s not mine,” she said hesitantly, wrapping her arms around herself and pressing the palm of her glove to the fresh blood. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’m okay.” Her heart ached. In the split second when she thought she would die, it wasn’t protecting Percival she regretted. It was this.

The others had cleared up the rest of the room, and Velvet was watching them with a hand on her hip, obviously waiting. “Come on, you three. Remember that we’re in a hurry.”

“R-right. Sorry.”

Rokurou hesitated for a moment, looking like he had something to say to Percival, but he sheathed his swords and turned to move on. “Don’t throw yourself at danger so willingly. Your life is no less valuable than his.”

Eleanor wanted to protest, but stopped herself. Rokurou was already walking away, and she was racked with guilt. _Don’t touch me._ Her heart demanded her attention, but she refused to think on it.

“Ooh, a lover’s quarrel?” Magilou stepped up beside Eleanor, her arms behind her head and a smile spreading across her face. Even under all the pressure, Magilou didn’t seem to be bothered.

Eleanor almost tripped into her own spear. “No, of course not! It’s not like that,” she explained, her cheeks growing red. “I just—we just—I mean I would never—“

“Now, now, don’t say never,” Magilou said. Her eyes were on the back of Rokurou’s head. “He might hear you.”

“I don’t see why…” Eleanor followed Magilou’s gaze. She was sure he couldn’t hear them, but even so, she lowered her voice to a whisper. “I don’t see why that would be any of your concern.”

“Oh, it’s not. Why, does it matter to you, after all?” She winked, and Eleanor pressed a palm to her forehead.

“Magilou…”

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t interfere. Besides, don’t you think putting in the effort would be totally not my style?”

Eleanor found herself believing Magilou, and a short flood of relief washed over her. She wasn’t sure what to do, herself. She didn’t feel like she was wrong—she couldn’t be, all she did was push away a demon—but whenever she remembered the look on his face, the slight part of his lips as he reached out to her, the way his hand stayed outstretched towards her, trying to make sense of her words, Eleanor was overcome with guilt and shame. She wanted to fix this, desperately, but she didn’t understand why she felt it was so, so broken.

* * *

 

They were staying behind. Once the Van Eltia set sail there was little hope for their party to escape, but before they could even make an attempt they were intercepted. It had been weeks since Eleanor had last heard Artorius’s voice, and now it sent chills up her spine. When Shigure stepped out from behind him, Eleanor turned her attention away from the enemy to look at Rokurou. His jaw was tight so she knew he was grinding his teeth. His clenched fists, his barely contained scowl—he was trying to hold back. She watched him try to keep reason for half a second, and then it was immediately thrown to the wind.

He charged forward, his demon eye blazing, and their swords clashed. As much as she wanted to interfere, to help Rokurou in any way she could, she knew she couldn’t. When Laphicet had tried to help him in his fight with Kurogane, Rokurou had turned on him in a second. She had to let him fight this battle himself. Artorius ordered Shigure to stand back, and there was a sudden bright light.

A child stood before them—a child named Innominat.

“It can’t be,” Velvet mumbled under her breath before started forward. “That’s—“

Eleanor watched the events unfolding before her with wide eyes, fighting to keep up. The child was Velvet’s brother. Innominat had already been awakened. Rokurou ran at him, sword drawn, and was thrown aside like trash. The two halves of his sword snapped away from each other, and Eleanor ran to where he had fallen. “Rokurou!”

He turned to her, and she froze as the burning red of his eye stared back at her. She took a step back, fearing he would turn on her, but he shook his head and the lust for battle was pushed back. He looked at her with clear eyes, reaching for her. “No! Get back!”

The ground beneath her, beneath all of them, became Innominat’s mouth. Eleanor screamed.

She couldn’t feel her legs as they were pulled into the gaping emptiness beneath them. She heard Laphicet call Velvet’s name and her heart immediately sunk. Her head whipped around wildly, searching, until she saw the tip of his sword over the tendrils of black threatening to consume them all.

“Rokurou!”

The next moment, she was laying on the ground. Gasping, she reached for her legs. She could feel them again, like pins and needles as though the circulation had been momentarily cut off. She breathed a sigh of relief, but then quickly got to her feet and began looking around. “Where is this place?”

Eleanor’s eyes scanned over the bare, unearthly landscape before finding Laphicet collapsed on the ground. She carefully checked to make sure he was all right, but he wasn’t waking up. He had expended an enormous amount of energy to get them this far. “Thank you,” she told him quietly. “We’re all alive because of you.”

“We aren’t safe yet.” Eleanor turned to find Velvet, who was standing still as a board. She wasn’t even looking in their direction. She was staring off somewhere in the distance, just watching the nothingness pass them by. “They’ll come after us. Innominat. Laphi. Artorius. We have to kill them, same as how we killed so many to get here.” Her head snapped to the child, though her eyes still seemed far away. She was cracking. “Wake him the hell up, we have to fight.”

Eleanor’s hands were shaking. She couldn’t believe anything that had just happened, not yet. “I’m trying, but I think he needs to rest. He expended a lot of energy and—“

“He can rest when we’re dead!”

Velvet started towards them and Eleanor clutched Laphicet’s head to her chest as though to protect him. “No! Leave it, Velvet. No one is going to die, we’ll get out of this just fine.” Eleanor’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking. She hardly believed her own words. “We just need to find the others.”

“To Hell with the others,” Velvet spat. “People _are_ going to die today, Eleanor, you fool.” She turned on her, venom in her voice. Her demon arm was flexing for a fight, but it was her eyes that were truly terrifying. “I’m going to kill them all!”

“We have to find Rokurou and the othe—“

“Oh, shut up about your little boyfriend! I don’t need him. I don’t need you. I just need to kill them. It’s too late to turn back now.”

Velvet talked herself into a trance, and under any other circumstances Eleanor would turn red and debate the comment she had made, but it didn’t matter now. Eleanor was angry. Furious, even, at Velvet’s lashing out, but there was nothing she could do about it. She had no idea how Velvet must have felt. All Eleanor could do was try to wake Laphicet, and pray that the others were okay.

* * *

 

They traveled through the strange area, tension rising as the earth pulse began showing records of Velvet’s life. It all felt so private, and Eleanor wanted to avert her eyes but found that she couldn’t. Velvet only grew angrier as they continued, and Eleanor grew more anxious. They hadn’t found the others yet. There wasn’t an exit in sight yet either, and they couldn’t be sure that there was one.

As another memory came to a close, Rokurou chimed in from behind them. “What was that?” he asked, his dark eyes trying to make sense of the images before him. Eizen walked up beside him, and before Eleanor could stop herself she was walking towards the both of them. She flung her arms around their shoulders, burying her face between them.

“I’m so glad you guys made it,” she said.

Eizen chuckled, his stiff muscles relaxing after a moment. “Of course we did.”

Rokurou was motionless, and Eleanor pulled away from them quickly. She could feel the blush spreading across her face. “S-sorry, I’m just… relieved.”

Rokurou’s eyes were wide and his body still stiff. One of his arms hovered like he had thought about embracing her but couldn’t bring himself to do it. Eleanor quickly turned around and walked back towards Laphicet and Velvet, who seemed to be getting more annoyed by the second.

“Come on,” Velvet said. “Let’s go.”

They ran onward, but there had been no sign of Magilou. Knowing the witch, she may have slipped out without them, but they searched for her all the same. They fought their way through the earth pulse until encountering a much different enemy. This large demon charged at them, but they turned their blades on it all the same. Eleanor had become used to the constant fighting she and her companions had fallen into the rhythm of, and on some level, she had become numb.

But the cries Velvet let out as she fought were not the same. They were desperate more than they were angry, her claw searching for things beyond its grasp. It threw Eleanor’s focus off, bringing her back to the scared, worried girl who had joined them in the first place. Now more than ever, she was afraid to lose the people she was fighting with. The anxiety of the fight ran her blood cold, but the pads of her fingerless gloves kept her spear from slipping from the sweat of her palms.

Defeated, the monster fell. The corpse it left behind, however, was a mirror of Velvet.

As Velvet fell into despair, Innominat rose from the earth before them. Eleanor stepped back, her heart racing. It was all too much. The emotions coursing through her, through all of them, were just _too much_. Velvet consented to die. Innominat threw open his hand, casting a large magic circle around Velvet, and it erupted like a geyser. Eleanor watched as her body went limp.

All Eleanor could do was watch. Laphicet moved. He grabbed her hand and began yelling at her, trying to talk her down. Eleanor tried to dig the butt of her spear into the ground, but the current on Innominat’s arte was too much. She felt it slipping. She tried to step back, but the current swept her up. She stumbled forward and cried out, but just as her feet left the ground her hand was grasped. She locked panicked eyes with Rokurou, who was pulling her back to him with all his might.

“No you don’t,” he groaned, yanking her into his arms. He collapsed on top of her, cradling her head to his chest so he wouldn’t slam her skull against the ground. The whirlwind pulled them along, threatening to drag them both further into the circle.

Eleanor had to yell in his ear so her voice would travel. The wind was ripping her voice from her lips. “It’s pulling us in!”

Rokurou gently released her head to grab a dagger and plunged it deep into the earth on the other side of her. “Grab onto me,” he yelled. His eyes were burning into hers with an intensity she had never seen before. “No matter what happens, don’t let go. I’ll protect you.”

 _Don’t touch me_ , she had said. Why had she said such a stupid, stupid thing when they could die at any moment?

She wrapped her arms around his back, burying her face in the crook of his neck so she could hear him if he tried to say anything more. Over his shoulder she watched Eizen grab Laphicet and tell him to talk some sense into Velvet. Rokurou’s dagger threatened to slip from the ground and he readjusted it. “Come on, kid, shorten it to twenty words or less,” he groaned, but only Eleanor could hear him. His breathing was heavy and hot against her ear, and despite the situation she felt her cheeks turning pink. His arms were shaking with the effort of pushing them against the earth. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold out,” he yelled.

Eleanor pulled her head back so she could look at him. _Really_ look at him, not from the edge of her eye, and not while he was looking away. “I’m sorry, Rokurou,” she said. She felt tears forming again, but the harsh winds of Innominat’s arte swept them away. “I wish I could take it all back.”

Rokurou looked confused, and when he realized what she meant he shook his head. “That doesn’t matter now.”

“Rokurou, I—“

Her words were trapped by his lips. He was kissing her. Eleanor pushed her lips harder against his, desperate to get as much of this as possible before they were swept to their death. His face was wet with her tears, but he kept kissing her.

She didn’t want it to end like this.

Over the ripping wind, Eleanor could just hear Velvet yelling. She was admitting to her pain, opening her heart to someone else after years of closing it away. Rokurou and Eleanor collapsed on top of each other as the arte broke, and then quickly they stood and separated. Eleanor couldn’t feel her own pulse, but she could hear it vibrating in her ears. Rokurou had kissed her. She had kissed him back.

Velvet ran forward, forcing open the way out, and they ran for it.

* * *

 

They were avoiding each other. Or, rather, Eleanor was avoiding Rokurou.

They had made it to Meirchio without speaking. It had all been such a whirlwind that they hadn’t had time, even if she _had_ wanted to talk about it. Just that morning she had seen him at the weapon’s dealer, and as soon as he looked up she walked briskly away to her room. She heard him attempting to follow her and nearly broke out into a run, closing the door of the inn behind her. He never followed her in.

She sat on the edge of her bed for an hour, her fingertips pressed against her lips. What _was_ that? Did he kiss her just because they were going to die, or did he actually mean something by it? Certainly not the latter; it was more likely that it didn’t mean anything at all and she was overthinking it.

Eleanor fell back on her bed with her head in her hands. “This is just too much,” she said quietly. Her body ached. It had been too long since she had last had a proper bath, and everyone was already going on about the amazing hot springs in this town. The thought of it lifted her mood a little. Even under normal circumstances she would be excited at the thought of a hot spring. She undid her pigtails slowly, careful not to tangle the bands even further. The style had left a considerable wave in her hair, and she pushed on it gently, feeling some relief of tension.

She found the bath easily, stepping into the women’s. At least she wouldn’t be subjected to a mixed bath. She lowered herself into the water slowly, letting the heat ease her muscles. Her shoulder was sore from constantly working her spear, and she winced as the hot water touched it, but as the pain began to lessen she sighed.

Magilou’s voice was in her ear. “It’s nice, right?”

Eleanor started, her arms instinctively covering herself beneath the water. Magilou laughed.

“Oh come on now, I’m not some sort of deviant.” She cocked her head at Eleanor teasingly, making a show of her eyes traveling down beneath the water. “Not quite as big as Velvet, hmm?”

“Magilou!” Eleanor clutched her arms around her chest, leaning away from the other woman. “That’s not very appropriate.”

“Oh, come one, at least you have me beat. I mean look at me!” She gestured at her own chest, where Eleanor was certainly _not_ looking. She was very focused on a very interesting plant in the opposite direction. Magilou continued. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m 90% sure that the men we’re traveling with are more into hips.” She paused, and Eleanor felt her blush growing more intense. She shifted away from Magilou. “Hmm, yeah I think you win in that department. Lucky you.”

“Stop it,” Eleanor said, splashing some of the water in Magilou’s direction. “It’s not right to harass others in the bath. I have half a mind to get you kicked out.”

“Don’t do that,” Magilou said, standing. “I’m on my way out, anyway.” She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, winking back at Eleanor who was chin deep in the water. “I’m just messin’ with ya, kiddo. In all seriousness if you have any guy problems you can talk to me, alright? Just don’t expect too much.”

Eleanor watched her leave, and once she was gone Eleanor was alone. She sighed deeply, relaxing her shoulders and leaning against the edge of the bath. “Guy problems, huh?” she muttered. Her mind wandered back to Rokurou kissing her, pressing his body against hers and telling her that he would protect her. She sunk lower into the water.

“Eleanor, are you still there?”

She shot straight up in the water, the startled splash confirming that yes, she was still here. She covered herself in the water and turned around, where a large wooden fence divided the baths. The men’s bath must be on the other side. Rokurou spoke to her through the divider.

“You don’t need to say anything. Just hear me out, please.”

Eleanor just stared at the wall between them, unmoving. She couldn’t bring herself to respond. At least, from the sound of his voice he was facing away from the wall. That somehow made her more comfortable. She slowly lowered herself back into the water, her back to the fence as well.

Rokurou sighed, and there was the sound of water drops that probably meant he was pushing back his hair. “I’m really, really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but I thought we were going to die and I didn’t have time to put my thoughts in order and I just—I just wanted you to know before we were gone. I shouldn’t have done it that way.”

A long silence passed between them. Eleanor thought of things to say, of questions to ask, but she wouldn’t know how to phrase them.

“Eleanor, I’m not saying I regret it. I don’t want you to think I did it just because we both thought it was the end, or that you should shrug it off like it didn’t mean anything to me because it did. I just… probably could have found a better time.”

Eleanor was burning up. She was clutching her body so tightly that she was slowly losing feeling in her fingertips, and the red on her skin was more than just the heat of the water. Rokurou’s words echoed in her mind, and she found her voice. Softly, she spoke. “What was it you wanted me to know?” Rokurou was quiet, and Eleanor kept going. “You said you wanted me to know before we were gone. What did you want me to know?”

Rokurou said her name gently, and the sounds of water on the other side of the wall indicated that he had turned towards her. “I would rather tell you to your face, if that’s alright with you. I know it’s selfish of me, but—“

“Hey, Rokurou!”

Quick splashing through the wall meant he had turned back around to face whoever had just entered the men’s bath. He cleared his throat. “Hey, Benwick.”

A pause. Eleanor guessed that Benwick was looking around the bath. “Who were you talking to?”

“Myself,” Rokurou said casually. “Care to join me?” Benwick laughed, and Eleanor took it as her cue to leave.

* * *

 

Eleanor wasn’t at the inn when Rokurou got back. He sighed and joined Eizen at a table in the far corner. Eizen glanced up as he made his way over, and slid the bottle of alcohol he had already prepared across the table towards him. Rokurou took his seat and poured himself a drink. They sat in silence, passing the bottle back and forth.

The door to the inn opened, and Eleanor stepped in hesitantly, looking around the room like she was trying to hide from someone. She paused briefly when she saw him, her eyes wide, and then she averted her gaze and walked briskly across the inn towards the girls’ room. She kept her head down, but Rokurou could see the pink that intensified her face.

He wanted to get up and follow her, but he knew she would probably just run away again. So instead he poured another drink.

Eizen leaned back in his chair, watching Rokurou drink. “I’m guessing you two spoke?”

Rokurou put his glass back on the table. “I don’t know what you mean. Spoke about what?”

“You know what.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, while Rokurou sorted out his thoughts. Finally, he leaned back, rubbing a hand over his face. “So, you saw, then.”

“I did.”

Eizen poured another drink for him, and Rokurou took it, silently toasting him before downing it. “I guess we spoke. If you could call me cornering her in the bath speaking.”

Eizen narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. “Now that’s awfully vague. Don’t tell me, you two—“

“No, no, no,” Rokurou said, nearly choking on his drink. “No, that’s not what I meant at all, you know that!”

Eizen chuckled, crossing his arms. “I had assumed. So, what did you find out?”

Rokurou closed his eyes, trying to recall what he had heard before he began his confession. “Well, Velvet’s got the largest chest, but we already knew that. Eleanor’s got the nicest hips, and Magilou thinks we’re both hip guys.”

“She’s not wrong.”

“No, she’s not.”

Eizen’s gaze turned more critical. “But what did Eleanor say to you? How does she feel?”

“Why don’t you ask me how I feel?” Rokurou commented, leaning his chin in a hand. “Aren’t you curious about why I kissed her? It could have just been a moment of passion, you know. Nothing to talk about at all, really.”

“I don’t have to do that. It’s obvious already that you love her.”

“Wow now, no need to be so bold.” Rokurou’s heart lept into his throat. He hadn’t said so much aloud himself. “And besides, none of that matters if she’s going to keep running away from me like this. Even when I was trying to explain why I did it, she was quiet.” He thought back to the Van Eltia, to her slapping his hand away like he disgusted her. He was a demon, after all. “She probably just wants me to leave her alone.”

They each poured another drink, sipping in silence as they contemplated the situation they found themselves in.

“Let me ask you this,” Eizen started. His clear blue eyes cut through Rokurou. “Do you regret it?”

“No.” He answered without hesitation. “If I had to do it over again and again, I would kiss her every time. Without that, I wouldn’t have had the strength to hold on.”

“Then talk to her. Make sure that tomorrow, when you face your brother, you have no regrets.”

* * *

 

Eleanor woke in the middle of the night. The inn was quiet, and the sun had not yet risen. She tossed and turned in her bed, but sleep would not come to her. She quietly tiptoed out of the room and down the hall to the front. She poured herself a glass of water and sat at the bar for a moment, pulling the hair off the back of her neck and into a single ponytail. She only took it down to bathe and sleep nowadays, and the hair touching her neck bothered her.

As she swept up her hair, she caught a whiff of the sweet-smelling soaps she had used in the bath earlier that day. She sighed deeply, remembering Rokurou’s words. He didn’t consider it a mistake. He didn’t do it just because of the moment, it was just done _in_ that moment. But that would mean—

No. She wouldn’t think about it. Eleanor knew she wasn’t being honest with herself, but she couldn’t be. She knew that if she was, it would ruin all the ideals she had held her entire life. Rokurou was a demon, and demons had destroyed towns, they had run humanity to the brink, and they had killed her mother. There was no way she could love a demon.

Eleanor froze in her seat. Love? Why would she think that? Her heart sped with panic. Just because she thought it didn’t mean it was true, of course, but she had thought it all the same. She needed fresh air. Eleanor made her way across the tavern and through the front door of the inn, into the night. The fresh snow crunched beneath her feet, unwalked by anyone but herself. Her breath steamed as it escaped her lips, and the chill of the air threatened to raw her throat. It cleared her mind.

The streets of Meirchio were dimly lit with the most amazing street lamps, their colored light pooling in the snow, twinkling like the sea. Eleanor walked into the snow, leaving the indent of her boots as the only marks upon the pristine world she had stepped into. The ocean, despite the cold, waded to the low barrier the townspeople had built to keep out the tide. Eleanor leaned her elbows on this wall, squinting at the horizon to see the faintest trace of light. The waves here were much calmer than they were out at sea.

Eleanor found herself wishing that the sun wouldn’t rise. The next day was going to change everything. They were either going to defeat the rest of the legates and awaken the empyreans, or they were all going to die. They were going to fight Melchior… and they were going to fight Shigure.

“Lean any further over that rail and you’ll fall in.”

Eleanor spun rapidly, now trapped against the barrier. Rokurou approached her slowly, his boots crunching against the snow. He walked up next to her and leaned on the wall, staring out at the horizon as the sun peaked over its waves. Eleanor turned slowly, her eyes on Rokurou, and joined him in facing the sea. Somewhere in the distance, a bird began its song.

Eleanor inspected his face as he stared off into the water. His eyes slid towards hers, meeting her gaze, and he averted them again. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I won’t trap you here and force you to listen, but… I want you to.”

“I shouldn’t have run away from you,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Eleanor clenched her fists on the barrier, trying to silence the voice in her head that was begging her to please, run away from this. That last shred of the old her, who had joined the Abbey with confidence in her future. The last bit of herself that hadn’t yet been proven wrong.

But she wouldn’t run away this time. She had been running from the truth of things her entire life, and slowly, one by one, the truth had begun to reveal itself. What the Abbey aimed to do was detain the will of humanity; this was the truth. Lord Artorius had sacrificed his own brother to awaken Innominat; this was the truth.

If Rokurou had not kissed her at that time, she would have kissed him instead. This was the truth.

Eleanor’s hands were shaking. She brushed snow off the top of the barrier absently, waiting for him to break the silence. After a few seconds, she looked back at him, and he looked conflicted. His jaw was tight, and his back stiff. He didn’t know how to start, she realized. He had waited all this time to tell her and now that she was here, he was at a loss for words.

Slowly, Eleanor moved her shaking fingers across the barrier. She hovered above his hand, her heart in her throat, and pressed her cold fingers against his. She watched his face as it lit up with shock, his eyes darting first to his hand and then to her.

She smiled at him with more confidence than she felt. “I’m listening.”

“Tomorrow, I….” The cold had dried his throat, and he cleared it. “Tomorrow, I’m not sure what will happen. If I fail to kill Shigure and I die, I’ll be okay with that. But I don’t want to leave behind any regrets.” Rokurou’s eyes bore into hers, and she stared back. “And right now, I have only one.”

“You’re not going to die,” Eleanor said, the corner of her lips tugging up despite herself. “You’ll have all of us fighting beside you.”

“And I have something to fight for,” he said. He wove their fingers together and reached for her other hand, and she gave it to him. Holding both their hands between them, he took a deep breath. “Do you remember when you first boarded the Van Eltia with us? I saw you standing on the deck alone, fighting within yourself, and I asked if you were afraid of demons.”

A grin broke out across his face at the memory, and Eleanor felt her own face turning red. She remembered, all right—she told him she despised them and to keep his pity, and he told her that he would. “I… remember.”

“Well,” he said. “Your voice was shaking despite your conviction. These hands of your were clenched as tight as you could stand it, and you walked away without ever facing me.”

Eleanor’s eyes fell to the snow, and Rokurou released one of her hands to gently tilt her chin back up towards him. “You didn’t face me because you were crying, weren’t you?”

Eleanor’s breathing hitched. She nodded slowly, embarrassed that she had been found out all that time ago. “From that moment, it was all over for me. I decided that I never wanted to see you cry again, and once I realized that I wanted to be the one to stop it I just about lost my mind. I mean it’s crazy, right? A demon and an exorcist?”

Despite her nerves, Eleanor found herself laughing. “It’s pretty crazy,” she said, “but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing.”

“Eleanor…”

Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she almost didn’t hear him. She blinked a few times, almost unable to believe that she’d heard anything at all. But his lips had moved, forming those words that she had feared for the past few days. The words that would throw her philosophy to the wind.

“I love you, Eleanor.”

Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes and quickly overflowed. They watched each other, she crying silently and his eyes narrowed, trying to decipher what kind of tears these were. Eleanor’s brain frantically told her to sort out her feelings, to think about this rationally, to remind her that he was a demon, but her heart was already speaking, filling the air between them with a soft whisper.

“I love you, too.”

All her walls came crashing down. Rokurou leaned in to kiss her and she closed her eyes, parting her lips for his. They kissed slowly, with a luxury that they hadn’t been able to previously afford. Rokurou wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, and the rising sun warmed their faces as the day began anew.

Rokurou held her cheek delicately in his hand and pulled away from the kiss, keeping their faces close. He rubbed his thumb over her tears, her wide, green eyes staring unwavering back at him. “You don’t need to cry anymore,” he whispered. “I’ll always be here for you.”

Eleanor wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to herself and holding him for a few long moments. Rokurou’s heart skipped a beat at her movement, and slowly he embraced her. It was unreal, for both of them, but as the sun rose and the town awoke with it, Rokurou and Eleanor stayed in that spot. They sat perched on the wall, both of their faces lit with smiles and their conversation laced with laughter and poorly veiled flirting. They stayed together, in pure bliss, until Velvet gathered the party to move forward.

Rokurou grabbed Eleanor’s hand as they slid off the wall, pulling her to his chest before she could escape. “I hope you didn’t plan on keeping this a secret,” he whispered, before planting another kiss on her lips.

Laphicet gasped, and Eleanor pulled away, her face beet red. “It—It’s not—” she started, waving her hands frantically in front of her.

“Oh, it’s not what now?” Magilou, a devilish grin plastered across her face, stood beside Laphicet and Eizen. Velvet stood on the other side, looking uncharacteristically flustered and red.

Eleanor stuttered, her face full of absolute panic. She heard Rokurou chuckle beside her and he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his chest. “Well, what else could it be?” he asked. His eyes slid to the woman in his arms, a smirk making its way across his lips. “We’re in love, aren’t we?”

Eleanor threw her hands up, her face turning impossibly redder. “I—We—”

Rokurou put his hand over his chest, faking shock, but he couldn’t wipe the smirk from his face. “Or are you breaking up with me already?” He winked at her, and if he hadn’t still been holding her with one arm her knees would have given out beneath her.

“Rokurou.” Eizen was smiling, but he interjected all the same. “Cut the poor girl a break.”

Eleanor could only whimper. She had _intended_ on keeping it a secret to some degree, at least until their journey was resolved, but she had never expected this.

Velvet spun, her own face red. She was unused to such situations. “Let’s just get a move on!” she said, making her way out of town at a brisk pace.

Rokurou laughed deeply and started forward, releasing Eleanor to place a kiss on her head. “Come on, babe. Let’s get started.” He followed the others quickly catching up to Eizen, who shook his head before patting Rokurou on the back.

Eleanor stood in the snow, the brisk air cooling her head. No matter what happened this day, or the next day, or the days following forever after that; she had no regrets.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
